The Cameroonian Peanut Soup at Wild Leaven Bakery

Appreciating the season through a different lens.

By Alysha D’Amour

It’s that magical time of year, with the soft glow of holiday lights, children dressed in their holiday best, and the beautiful chaos that comes with getting an entire family together. I think the best part, for me at least, is a mix of the nostalgic holiday magic my parents created for me and my siblings with getting to create that same joyous feeling for my little family of five. Getting to incorporate those traditions from my childhood while creating new ones with our own kids. While I love creating special moments with my family, as a photographer I also get to be part of so many other families’ holiday traditions and special moments. I get to see our regular clients year after year and see how much their little ones have grown. Seeing how much the kids have matured from one year to the next continuously blows my mind. One year they want absolutely nothing to do with me or my camera and the next you would think they were posing for the cover of a magazine with how photogenic they are. It has given me a unique perspective on the “perfect” holiday and how seeing it from a different lens shows me what “perfect” actually looks like.

While the holiday season is the busiest time of year for families, it can also be the busiest time of year for many photographers. From October through December, we are busy taking photos amongst the golden aspens in Hyde park and holding our annual holiday mini sessions. During this time of year there are many families looking for that picture perfect moment to paste on their holiday cards and send it to all of their loved ones near and far. Giving a sweet update about how their year was and sending well wishes with that beautiful family photo shining on the front of the card. Signed, sealed, delivered with cheer and love.

There’s a lot that goes into getting that perfect holiday photo. It’s more than just the session itself. It’s finding the right photographer, signing up before sessions sell out, finding the best family outfits, getting hair and make up done. It’s a lot of work! With all the planning, prepping and time that goes into these photos, of course we want that one golden photo with everyone looking right at the camera, eyes open, smiles wide and backs pin straight to really make the perfect holiday keepsake. However, what I have come to realize in my almost ten years of photography is that sometimes it is the less than perfect moments that are the ones our clients gravitate towards and end up cherishing the most. Even if they get that “perfect” photo, I can’t tell you how many times we receive a holiday card using the silliest or most authentic one. There is something so special about embracing the current moment in time your family is in without letting your expectations make you feel a certain type of way when something doesn’t go according to plan. Letting go of the idea of perfection allows you to welcome the moments in time when life feels a little less coordinated and a little more chaotic in the best possible way.

I remember having our own holiday family photos taken looking for the best of the best picture only to remember we had three babies ages three and under. So that just wasn’t our reality. I learned quickly to embrace the chaos. To take the photos anyway and love it for the moment it was. Now that our kids are older, we do get more of everyone looking straight at the camera with their eyes wide and smiles bright. However, I find myself looking back so fondly at the wild photos with a smile. While I love and cherish the more traditional photos we get now I always think back to years past and laugh about those messier, more unpredictable moments, because there were a lot of them. Boy did those three keep us on our toes. Those moments take me back and remind me how far we have all come individually and as a family. Those crazy sessions truly make for the best stories. Even with our clients we will talk about them all of these years later.

 As a photographer, while I appreciate an “ideal” photo, I know I’m not necessarily going around sharing the story about how my kids robotically hit every pose and moment right on cue from our family photo session. I’m sharing the story and showing the photos of when our littlest love once fell face first into a mud puddle at the very beginning of our family photo session. She was wet and muddy in every single photo. I’m sharing tips about how I unfortunately learned to not put on our kids nice outfits during the drive to the photo session because, well, car sickness and blowouts. I didn’t get these stories from the perfect moment and I’m so grateful for the full smile they will forever bring to my face when I think back to them.

I think it’s a nice reminder, though, not just to apply to photography or a photo session but maybe giving that extra grace around the holiday season as a whole. Give appreciation to the season of life you are currently in however messy and unhinged. Although certain moments may not be what we envisioned, we are doing our best with where we are and we can still appreciate the moment for what it is, knowing it won’t be like this for long.

Parents in the midst of day to day life don’t see the change I get to experience each year when I see their little ones again. Not only from their physical features but their mannerisms and attention take a huge leap year to year. I am always in awe and it reminds me to pay a little more attention and appreciate the small steps of growth in our own kids.

While yes it’s nice to have that picture-perfect home or a magazine-worthy holiday dinner spread, more than anything your family will remember a feeling. When they see themselves laughing in photos, being silly, getting to read their favorite book or pretending to sip hot cocoa with you it’s going to bring back the magical feeling which is what I think the holidays are all about.

All of this combined reminds me how much grace we need to be able to give ourselves and our families around the holiday season. Embracing the stage of life that we’re in however silly or wild it may feel at the time, the moments truly are fleeting. Before you know it you’re gonna have those beautiful picturesque smiles and stunning holiday cards but you will always look back with a smile and a laugh at the chaos of holidays passed with the perfect story to tell.

Alysha D’Amour is a wife who knows the stresses of planning family photos, a mom who has lived it, and a photographer who has seen it all.